Well, this is the new blog, and we all now have new names (see in the left hand side bar). Thanks to those of you who still choose to read. The blog saga continues here at home and every day I'm asking myself if the hassle is really worth it.
The sad fact is that the very people I started writing my original blog for, have said things about it that makes it impossible for me to keep writing it for them. I had a long phone call this evening with one of these people and I'm not at all sure it was any use. When I tried to explain that the reason I started writing this blog in the first place was so they could get to know me and see our happy little family I just got a lot of abuse about the contents of my blog. Apparently it still wasn't very Christian in its content (I presume they did not read all the lovely comments that you all left for me). When I asked what exactly was wrong with it I was told about this particular entry. According to this person I was deeply un-christian and very offensive when I called Jimmy's old teacher a cow. (The very teacher who demoralized him, mentally abused him and stripped him of his self confidence). I tried to explain that it was just a matter of personal opinion whether this term is deeply rude and offensive, he just wasn't having it. Believe me I could have called her many a worse name than that! Apparently at that time they both developed serious concerns about my attitude and Christian walk. I can't begin to tell you how sick this makes me feel. That these people, family apparently, could think so badly of me. How am I ever going to be able to have them to stay and not be constantly worrying about what I say? But, calling someone a cow on a blog sends out a terrible message to everyone.
I don't know whats going to happen. It's obvious to me that this rift can not be mended by email, or by phone (since she slammed the phone down on me the first time), and since they live across the water its not as if I can just nip round to chat to them. Basically, she said a heap of nasty stuff to me on the phone, and when I challenged her and told her she shouldn't read the blog if she found it offensive she slammed the phone down. Then, instead of dealing with the issues and sorting it out, they have somehow managed to heap all the blame onto me, run with their own issues (eg take what I said and twist it till it means something else - so that they don't have to deal with the truth), and then lecture me and condescend me. How on earth did I manage to do nothing but be treated badly, and then made to feel as if I had done something wrong? Unless they can see the truth behind it all I don't know how it will be rectified. But I'm upset because even if they take back their original nasty statements, I will always for the rest of my life know what they really think of me, and be on edge in their company. It's just not nice.
This probably doesn't make any sense to anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about. Why can't everyone just get on with each other? What really gets to me is that they accuse me of not being a good enough Christian, but yet when faced with conflict do they act the way Christ would have done? Are they loving, charitable, forgiving? No, they are judgemental, cruel, un-forgiving, and unwilling to accept any fault. Plus they quote scripture after scripture as if that somehow makes them right. All it does is condescend and seem self-righteous.
I've had enough of it all. I feel like moving far far away and living on a desert island, away from interfering humans. Wouldn't that be nice?
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(((hugs))) and blessings for you. An awful experience to go through. Ann x
ReplyDeleteIf the person is not reading here I would just carry on. In fact even if they are I would carry on cos you can just say the next time they phone it is not up for discussion. What is important is how you stand before God not how others see you. I know it is hurtful when others judge you but it is not for them to judge - that is what you should remember.
ReplyDelete((hugs)))
((((Big Hugs)))) It's hard to deal with something like this, and when it's family, it's even worse. I have 2 sisters in law that are not speaking to me, because they took what I said wrong. It makes me feel bad, but I really am not the one who did anything wrong. The more I think about it though, it does make me feel like the one who is wrong.
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't give any more thought to those who find it so easy to judge you. Easier said than done, I know. We always seem to think about the bad things said by 1 person, as opposed to the good things said by many. Your husband and kids are the only ones that you have to answer to, and make happy. You are obviously doing that!!
Whatever is going to make you happy is what you should do. You did what you could to explain, and you can't do any more than that.
We ALL have those critics in our life. I personally didn't see any harm in what you said. I too agree that you probably were being nice, even though I don't know the teacher. What these individual(s) are doing to you is VERY unchristian. Have you prayed for them? Sometimes it's hard to pray for an enemy, but often times those enemies wake up and realize what they were doing was wrong.
ReplyDeleteI really do know what you are going through. I have been through a similar situation in my life and now am unable to face any church because of the attitudes of others. I also know that many times, I began to question myself as to whether actually it was ME- thats how bad they made me feel.
ReplyDeleteThe thing is, there will always be people in your life who are hypocrites, who put you down and hurt you. But you have God, and you have many people here who are totally on your side, and from your comments, plenty of family and real life friends who support you too.
What they are doing to you is unfair and un-Christian. You can pray for them and set your consience clear but after that you just have to live your life and let others figure out how to live their's
(((hugs)))
Carol
x
I hope you will keep going. You cannot influence how other people choose to react.
ReplyDeleteAs I said in my last comment on your old blog, if they had blogged their lives as HONESTLY as you, their lives would not be any better - in fact prbably much worse.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your blog about the Cow of a teacher Jimmy had, I laughed at your down to earth honesty about your feelings and your ability to call a spade a spade!
I have always admired you, and now I respect you all the more for making a stand to these people. I am quite sure, as a result they will realise what they have done one day and they won't be able to apologise enough. They are the ones that are losing out for now.
Love Jen
What very silly people. Please pay no attention and focus on all the good vives sent to you by others and by your close family. These are what matter. Not a few negative people with very narrow mindsets about what is and isn't Christian behaviour. Christian behaviour is about about love and forgiveness. Not condemnation.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the blog!
Jane
Sorry, that should have read 'good vibes'!
ReplyDeleteJane
(Literacy expert to the stars)
Glad you are still 'blogging'. You can't put a great 'blogger' down. In time all the current tensions and animosity will be replaced with reality and true harmony. Before there can be true peace, there has to be a war, otherwise what you have is uncertainty because everything is untested.
ReplyDelete....Not sure I understand that last one. Far too philosophical for me!
ReplyDeleteAll I would say is that unfortunately the world is full of people who seem only to feel better about themselves when they can make others feel worse.
I think you have had enough compliments and people supporting you to be able to see what the real truth is. And so could they if they looked.
Doesn't make it any easier to accept cos it's family and people who should love and support you. But take a step back and look at what is really going on and who is really right... They will too one day.
Love you.
Maddi
Dear girl,
ReplyDeleteHave only just discovered where you moved to. Congrats on this blog, it's looking good. Love the vids of the kiddies.
The reaction of those people is completely over the top, un-christian, un charitable, un kind, and typical.Brainwashed now to such a degree that they are unable to think for themselves, or recognise their behaviour for what it is. I too have been hurt by their attitude, but you do get over it. Although they are closer to you than they are to me, and it puts you in a difficult situation.
Don't beat yourself up over it, the problem is theirs, they must remedy it, not you, if they cant act in a true Christian spirit of love and forgiveness, which in my case they have'nt, what right have they to critisise you?
Keep On Blogging !
Love from James
Hi James, and welcome to my blog. I am trying to work out who you are and how you tracked down my new blog :) We are all very curious. Do tell ;)
ReplyDeleteBree
hiya, i feel so sorry for you. It makes me feel ill in my stomach to read about it cos i know what it's like to have people confront you about something thats not even an issue and try to make it out as a big one. It just doesnt make sense, why dont people get some perspective in their lives and start worrying about their own issues?! Hans
ReplyDeleteI think you'll all be better off without them, you don't need to attend a judgemental church to have God in your hearts.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a Christian, and even I can see who the honest, loving and true person in all this is, and it isn't them!
I'm involved, through my partners family, with a strict Christian denomination, and they do nothing positive for anyone. It's all about proving who's more worthy of salvation, and judging others. Very Christian...not!