The noise that never stops...

Two weeks ago I had a meeting at the local hospital with the Tinnitus Management team. It was great to finally talk to someone who was sympathetic to the suffering of pulastile tinnitus. And who also knew the difference between pulsatile tinnitus and regular tinnitus. We talked for an hour and I was given lots of advice. They gave me a special pillow speaker, but I still need to purchase some sort of relaxation CDs to play with it. The CD's I have are not really conducive to a good nights sleep. They have also order me a special masking hearing aid which I will get in about 4 weeks time. The idea is that it plays white noise into the ear, at a pitch that masks the sounds of my gushing blood and heartbeat. I think it supposed to train the ear to mask our internal body sounds or something. I'm not sure if it will work, but to be honest, if I can listen to white noise instead of blood noises for a while then it will be a pleasant change. I'll let you all know how I get on with that.

From the day after my appointment I have been suffering miserably with the tinnitus. It is always there, 24 hours a day, but at times it gets worse. They tell me its stress that causes it, but I can't see that pattern in mine to be honest. But now, for over a week, I have been miserable with it. The gushing sounds are louder than ever. I can't sleep, can't concentrate, can't have a conversation without struggling to stay on track. And whenever the tinnitus is bad like this, I get awful headaches, pain in the back of my neck, and pains in my chest. Whether these pains come from the lack of sleep, or are caused by the blood flow problem in my arteries, I have no idea.

I joined a forum for Tinnitus sufferers on the RNID website. There I have met other people who also have the pulsatile form of the condition. It's been good to see how others cope with it. This week I have really come to understand why people get so depressed suffering with this. I have been constantly miserable. I am unable to lead a normal life when its this bad. At night I just want to claw ouy my ear drum with a screwdriver, and I have now come to understand why the tinnitus management team talked so much about suicide and depression. On the RNID website I found a link to this real player sound clip. I urge anyone reading this to listen to it. It plays many of the sounds of tinnitus, so that non tinnitus sufferers can understand better what it is like to live with the sound that never stops. You can listen to it by clicking here. Also, worth watching is a youtube video which tries to show what life is like for tinnitus sufferers.