Battle Of The Wills

Barney is an unusual child. Everyone who knows him knows he is extremely exhausting and very hard work. He's a beautiful child, but boy does he ware me out.

At the moment we are having a battle of the wills. There are certain issues with Barneys behaviour that I am trying to resolve, or develop or balance out. But at the moment it feels like banging my head against a brick wall. For instance, trying to teach him that he can not hit or kick his brothers and sisters if they wont do what he asks, or that he is not allowed to slam doors when he is having a tantrum, or that he has to sit at the table with the family at dinner time, all seem impossible to overcome. His older brother and sister were never this difficult. But he is a different child. He talks incessantly. Every waking moment he talks, non stop. I have tried to tell him that its time for some quiet time now before Mummy goes insane. But then he constantly asks why he cant talk, or can he talk yet, "but I want to talk", "but Mummy", and on and on it goes, a battle of the wills.

Jimmie and Annabelle always had a natural understanding that their parents were in charge. If I bought them some sweets and said "these are for after dinner tonight" they would have been delighted and looked forward to them. If I do the same thing with Barney he would immediately have a tantrum and be completely unable to cope with the fact that he had to wait. A whole day would be spent telling him "no, you can't have them till after dinner". It makes life miserable. If I had told Annabelle or Jimmie at that age that they had to put their toys away, or take a bath, or put their shoes on to go to the shops, they would have done it, as asked. Barney constantly questions and challenges everything. He will say "no", and argue for hours. He never ever gives in.

Right now he is downstairs at the table on his own. I told him he had to try his mushy peas as they were his only vegetable with today's meal. He simply would not taste them. It ended up as a screaming match with him saying he'd rather go to bed than try them. I have left him at the table and told him not to come up until they are all gone (literally two spoonfuls), yet he has found about 8 excuses to come up already, even though he knows he will be in big trouble. His siblings would have sat there, albeit miserably, until they were gone. They never would have dreamed of questioning my authority on the matter.

This child is trying me to very ends of my patience. There are days I just want to pack a bag and never come back. But I love him to bits. He is adorable, affectionate, smart, and completely unique. I can't put into words what he is like, but there is something different about him, something challenging. I just don't know how to help him. There is something in his understanding that makes treating him like a normal 3 year old nearly impossible. I wish I had the words to explain it.