What I love about Sam

Sam is one of the most beautiful people on this planet, in so many ways. The fact that he is alive makes this planet a whole better place. From the day he was born we all knew he was going to be a charmer. He has always been one of the friendliest, most easy going people I’ve ever known.

Of course, he’s my son, so I will love him to bits, naturally. But I love the person he is, and the person he is becoming for many more reasons than simply because he is my son. Beautiful is not a strong enough word to describe him. And the love I feel for him can not be put into words either.

Sam is caring. Every time I have tried to walk down the stairs on crutches since I broke my feet 3 weeks ago, he has asked “do you need any help?” I love him for that. He knows he can do nothing to help, but he cares enough to ask anyway.

Sam is fun. There is no one in this world as fun as Sam. His little brother can’t wait to burst into Sam’s room in the morning yelling “wake up Sam” because he knows the fun is about to begin. Life with Sam is never boring. His friends think he’s great; his brother, sister, cousins, all love to play with him. He is vibrant, full of life, energetic, imaginative and extremely creative. Sam doesn’t need any toys because his imagination is more exciting than anything that can be created from plastic or wood.

Sam is cuddly. He doesn’t get as many cuddles as he should. But I love the fact that at 12 years old he still wants to cuddle me. I love his cuddles, they make me feel special, loved. I hope he never stops hugging me. I love him so much. I want to hug him more than I do. I must make more time.

Sam is thoughtful. From such a young age I could see how deeply he thought, and felt, about things. He does precious things for the people he cares about. And is never selfish. He gives up a lot of his time for his little brother, to play with him, bond with him and make his life happier. For that I love him to bits.

Sam brings happiness, energy, vibrance, meaning, to this family. Without him life would be far duller, far sadder. He is an air head. He forgets everything I tell him and messes everything up. But I love this about him too. It is because he is so passionately involved in the moment, in what he is doing or dreaming about, that he goes around in a haze. Although I’m always having to tell him he’s forgotten things, I still love this about him. It is a rare gift to be this way. He is so lucky. That he can forget all the boring mundane things in life and enjoy the precious important things, is a precious thing, and I love him for that too.

I wish I could be a better Mum for Sam. He deserves the best Mum on the planet, and I am always trying to do better. I am just human and I make so many mistakes. But no matter what, I love him from the very depths of my heart, and always will, and I hope he knows this and feels it. I would do anything for him. I want to protect him, guide him, gently lead him through life. And sometimes he thinks I am hard and unrelenting on him, but one day I hope he will see that this is because I care so much for him and want the very best for his future. I could be an easy Mum that lets him get away with anything, but then his beautiful precious character would be spoilt like so many other children. As much as it hurts me to be hard sometimes, I do it only because I care so much for him.

I love my baby Sam, my firstborn son, my angel, my precious gift from God, the most vibrant caring boy on the planet.

Toe saga continued

It's Monday morning and I've done almost nothing for over 2 weeks now. Yes, it's been two weeks already since I broke my toes and it has proven to be quite a disability! I have been practically useless in every way. Poor Dan has had to do absolutely everything and is looking more than a little worn out. I still have a swelling the size of a golf ball on my bottom, and my foot is looking nastier every day! I have had to take the toe straps off because all of my toes went bright red, inflamed and extremely itchy at the weekend. This itch continued up across the front of my foot. Since it was the weekend the doctors weren't open, so Dan went to the chemist and they have given me some E45 cream, but I'm pretty sure that it's not treating the problem, just reducing the itch. Tomorrow I have a follow up appointment at A&E to see if the bone is healing correctly, so I will no doubt get some advice on the itching and the golf ball swelling while I am there. But the middle toe which was completely snapped is still bent to the left and has a large hard lump on it, which I presume is the bone. I do have some minor movement back in my toes. I can just about twitch them, just a millimetre or two, but it's promising. The biggest problem to me at the moment is standing. I can now get about on just one crutch (unless stairs or steps are involved) but I can't stand for longer than a few minutes as I start getting pins and needles, and shooting pains up my leg. Two weeks of doing nothing has played its tole on my body. I feel like I need to go on a huge detox and health mission, to be honest. I have done absolutely no exercise and as a result have water retention, lack of energy, bad sleep and I've probably put on a ton of weight. Ho hum.

On a good note... erm, oh hold on, I actually can't think of a good note to share with you all. Today I am trying to get back into the swing of things, very slowly, to make life a bit easier for Dan. Wish me luck!

Tinkhani Update - and a little general health update about me too!

I was delighted to receive a letter from Tinkhani this week saying that for the first time since he's been in prison he has put on weight. One month after received the money donated by some of my generous blog readers, he has put on 3kg in weight. He is completely delighted, needless to say, and so am I. He has asked me tell you all this good news.

He has also informed me that the Zambian government are re-writing their rules regarding prison sentences. A lot of prisoner have been freed or had their sentences reduced. Tinkhani is hoping that he will no longer face the death penalty and has asked that we all keep this in our prayers and thoughts for him and the other handful of prisoners who are facing death for robbery. Hopefully he will have great news for me in his next letter.

He has sent me some handmade wooden pens, each with a name inscribed into it. There is one for each person that donated money for him. I will have to forward these on to you all individually. There is also one for Tammy who sent him a lovely Christmas card. Tammy if you email me your address I can post it on to you. I will be gathering some more money to send sometime soon, so if anyone wants to donate you can contact me at cleopatrani@hotmail.co.uk

I'm still on crutches at the moment but can just about get by on one crutch now. Although I can't over do it. I went to the doctors today and she seems to think that my middle toe is permanently damaged and will probably be paralyzed. I guess I should be bothered, but I just laughed. It all seems so silly to me. All this fuss over some toes. She also told me that she had received a letter about my jugular artery scan. It seems that they did find something after all, despite waiting almost 3 months for my result appointment. They found a curve in my jugular artery. My appointment to discuss this isnt until the end of August. However the curve is on the left side of my neck, and the noise is in my right ear, so the doctor seems think that this may not explain the problem, although from the letter the consultant seems to think it does. So I guess I have to wait and see. It's a good job I'm so patient eh? :)

A present to me

He he, here it is. Finally, after years of thinking about it, I got a tattoo. Now don't freak out everyone. Its very pretty, and its on my lower back, so I will still make a fab bridesmaid.

I've been thinking about getting it for some time. It took me a while to find exactly what I wanted. This is a tribal eagle. The eagle represents freedom and liberty. This tattoo is extremely important to me and is a way to celebrate my freedom of choice and liberty. Anyone who really knows me will know what I'm talking about.

I went to a fab tattoo parlour in Newry, called Wild Child, with an excellent reputation. I was just going to talk to them. I got the drawing of what I wanted out of my bag, and the next thing I new they had scanned it, made it into a transfer and were ready to put it onto my back! So I figured, why not, get it done while I'm on strong painkillers anyway. LOL. It took an hour and half. Having the outline drawn was nothing short of agony. Filling the ink in wasn't quite so bad, but my arms were shaking the whole way through from coping. My lower back is very sensitive anyway. It doesn't feel too bad now, just a bit like sun burn.

Silly, silly me

Yes, I'm a silly moo.

I went and fell down the stairs (again) and broke my foot! We had a friend round at the time, just to make it more embarrassing. I was walking down stairs and my foot slipped off the edge of a step and I fell about 6 steps down to the bottom. I hurt my butt and arm landing on them. Then fell down and landed on my own foot, on the wooden floor at the bottom of the stairs.

It wasn't until the next morning that Dan noticed my middle toe was pointing in the wrong direction, and I said "well, yes, it was very sore every time the duvet touched it during the night".

So Dan took me to the hospital and left me there with our friend Jack, who agreed to help me in and out of the place while Dan picked the kids up from Jennys house (another story). The nurse came in with the xray photo and kindly showed me that my toes were broken. LOL. The middle toe of my left foot had completely snapped in two, hence the funny direction it was sticking in. (I, stupidly, had thought it was dislocated and had got Dan to pull it to try and slip it back into place! Yes, it hurt immensely!)

The pain of having my toes straightened and tied together was excruciating, to say the least. And Jack turned a delightful shade of grey at the time. I am now sporting a new pair of crutches which I have to use for 6 weeks, and the biggest purple bottom bruise ever seen.

Jimmies 12th Birthday

At last, a photo from Jimmies 12th birthday. Here he is playing the new electric guitar that we bought him. He has been practicing it every day since and it seems to have spurred him on with learning the guitar. He looks so grown up with it.

The Golden Camel Award Photos

So I am finally getting around to posting some photos from the Golden Camel Awards. You can see the full set by clicking here. But here are a few for the blog.

Here is Mum and I in our beginners dance costumes. We joined in with the beginners dance to help them out because they are so few in number.



This is the beginner dance on stage. I was standing right under the main light so I look as white as a ghost. LOL. Mum is at the back left, and I am in the middle.





Mum and I in our gypsy fan dance costumes, posing on stage under the spotlight. I think we both look pretty goodin this one!





And lastly, here we are in the sagats dance. Mum in the back left and me in the front left. This time we were able to dance to music! Thank goodness. It all went very well.

Finding it hard to blog

What with working and all I have hardly been able to find time to do so many of the things I previously enjoyed doing. One of which is blogging. But as always, life has been extremely busy, never a dull moment.

Jimmie had his 12th birthday and I had intended to do a post about his life, with photos through the years, as I had done with Annabelle in November. But I just haven't had time. He had a quiet birthday this year, with money being tight. However, we did get him the red electric guitar that he had been hoping for. He has barely put the thing down since he got it, and I can see that the purchase of some headphones might well be in order.

The kids are all off on summer holidays now, which would be nice if we were having a summer. As it is, it hasn't stopped raining for weeks. Literally, day and night, almost 24 hours a day, rain, rain, rain. I hear that it is the same all across Europe. Belfast has had monsoons and flooding. Half of the UK seems to be under water. I'm getting the feeling that the melted polar ice caps are raining down on us.

Last weekend we had our big belly dance show, the Golden Camel Awards. I have some photos to put on my blog from it, but they are on the pc at home and I am currently on the lap top at work. It went really well. All the music came on this time so we got to dance our sagats dance with music this time, thank goodness. I had a great evening. It was a shame I couldn't go to the after show party though because we had to get the kids back home. I will write a separate post with photos sometime soon.

Well that's about all I have time to write at the moment. But I'm off work for a few days from tomorrow, so I will be back, and armed with photos.

For Sam

Today is Sam's birthday! Here is his great grandad wishing him happy 12th birthday!

We're so proud of Annabelle!

Annabelle is about to finish her first term back at school. I wasn't sure how she would settle in. She tells me that she enjoys the company of her friends but preferred home education for the work. This week she brought home her first school report. Well, I was blown away by it. Not only did she get a fantastic report, but she also received her first gold credit card. They run a scheme i the school where you receive a gold card for every 10 good points that you earn. Your gold card is presented to you in assembly. Most of the children in Annabelle's class are receiving their 3rd gold card, after 6 years of schooling. Annabelle has won her first card after just 1 term. The Principal had her up in assembly an announced that they had never had anyone get a gold card so quickly and they all made a huge fuss of her. I think it did her self confidence the world of good and I felt very proud of her!

Belfast Dance in the Park, Crescent Arts Centre, 23rd June 2007

Edit - the correct link for viewing all the dance photos is here.

Most of you are aware that we had our dance in the park belly dance performance yesterday in Belfast. You've just gotta love belly dancing. When else can a girl get dolled up to the eyeballs in sequins, shells, glitter, bindi, false eyelashes and eye gems??? There's no better excuse for a woman to take up belly dancing.

The day went reasonably well, despite the sound men messing up the music for our sagats dance. Which meant we had to dance that one without music, just with the tabla drum and the sound of our sagats. It was a shame, but these things happen in show buiness. LOL. Next Saturday we have our big Golden Camel Awards show (see post below this one) so we will get to do the sagats dance with sound (hopefully).

Here are a few photos for you to enjoy. You can see the other by clicking here.

Golden Camel Awards

A press release for the Golden Camel Awards that we are dancing in on Saturday. Erm, I'm a bit freaked out now after reading this. (Thanks to Julz who's Bebo site I stole this from).

More Belly Dancing Photos

I do appologise to anyone who received my last blog email 56 times. It seems that some peope received it just once, whilst others received it 56 times. I have no idea how that happened. Just a glitch in the system or something I think.

My new saidi dress arrived today and I was more than a little over excited about the purchase of my first proper belly dance costume. I also received some photos from one of the other dancers so Im putting them onto the blog, along with some pics of my new fabulous costume (for the sagats dance).

We are dancing this Saturday at the Belfast Dance in the park Festival. Anyone who is around Belfast on Saturday and wants a free day of entertainment, email me and I will give you the details. Our dances are on at about 2pm I think. Hopefully it will have stopped raining by then!

So here I am posing (rehearsing!) in my new costume. You can click on the photos to see larger versions. The sagats are small finger cymbals.

This is our group of gypsy dancers. Im the one in purple there with the purple fan. We had a dress rehearsal last week when these photos were taken.

And this was a photo taken at our sagats class rehearsal last week.

Belly dancing photos

Well, as some of you know we have two big belly dancing performances coming up. Somehow I got roped into 3 dances instead of 1 so I'm practicing like crazy to get them right. Last night we took some photos and I thought I'd post them on here (although I haven't got the ones of us all in full costume for the fan dance yet).